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Top Sweatpant
5 Reasons not to Give a F*ck
5 Reasons Not To Give a F*ck
5. Population
There are six billion people on this planet. Six billion of anything produces quite interesting trivia: if a book was six billion words long, then it would have twenty million pages (who’s reading that?); if you had six billion sheep in your farm (I’m assuming you have a farm) then you could knit enough sweatpants to ensure nobody went without sweatpants for quite a long time; if there were six billion keys on a piano, then the instrument would be about ten million miles long – you could play some funky sh*t on that thing. Six billion is an incomprehensible number; the human mind has no idea how puny ‘one’ is in relation, but that number’s you. So in answer to the question ‘does anyone give a sh*t about me,’ I would hastily ejaculate ‘no’. Also there are 10 quintillion insects who have as much of a right to be famous as you do. On a positive note…no, it’s escaped me.
4. Nothing Lasts Forever
Remember that old dog you loved so much when you were a child? What do you think it looks like now? Does it love you anymore? Can you honestly say you love a pile of animal bones? 110 billion people have walked this earth, and most of them are gone forever. I guess nobody really misses old Ugman the cave-dweller and his faithful, sexually rewarding mammoth, but nobody will really miss you, either, when you’ve been dead for ten thousand years.
3. Cosmology
Do you tread on a bug, and think, ‘oh sh*t, I just killed something’? No, you don’t, because it’s so small that nobody cares if it lives or not. If we took the time to mourn every living entity we killed on a daily basis, according to some statistic I pulled out of my ass, our productivity would decrease significantly; an ant is about one millionth the size of a human, so it follows that we should kill them with nonchalance. But if you weigh about one-hundred-and-fifty pounds, you are 79626666666666666666666 times smaller than The Earth. The Earth doesn’t give a flying f*ck about you, obviously. And according to scientists, the total mass of the universe is between some number with fifty zeros, and some number with infinite zeros. So you’re nothing.
2. You’re going to die
We’re all going to die. It’s happened to everyone over the course of history, and only Jesus and Lazarus recovered, if you buy into that. There’s a type of anaesthetic which doesn’t make patients unconscious – it just puts them in a trance which causes them to forget the whole procedure, pain included; it follows that, if the operated-on person can’t remember the pain, it’s insignificant; it might as well not have happened. Death is like this. We’ll forget our whole life, and detach ourselves from all its motives and concerns, so for 99.9% of your existence you won’t give a sh*t about who you are now, whether that attractive woman saw you spill hot coffee on her lap, whether there’ll be a lawsuit.
1. Really bad sh*t happens all the time
So you’ve just bought a new widescreen plasma TV, and you’re all set up to pay for it in instalments, when suddenly and unexpectedly you’re fired from work for sexual and aggressive conduct. This is the reality we face daily – the strong, indiscriminate arm of the law crushes all balls, in the end. Even mine.
About the Author
I'm an English student from England. I write things occasionally. Influences include: Thomas Hardy, John Irving, Philip Larkin and Fernando Sorrentino. Favourite quotes: "there are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy," "either this man is dead or my watch has stopped" and "don't do that I'm asleep". My website's at: http://sites.google.com/site/outputemporium/
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US $10.49
Has anyone ordered clothes from the Victoria's Secret website? How's quality and sizing?!?
I have a ton of the pink stuff (I wear an XS sweatpant, usually a small tshirt, and can wear either an xs or small hoodie, depending how i want it to fit) but I haven't ordered any actual clothes from the website. They are having a big sale right now, and I found some cute halters and tees I like...but am unsure of the sizing, I looked at the size chart, but find it hard to believe I'm their size S (what they call size 4-6). My measurements are 34C-25-34, I usually wear an XS but sometimes a small (depending on if its a more fitted top) at other stores like Express, Bebe, Abercrombie, etc. Has anybody ever ordered their tops? Are they true to size? Is it better to go up or down? And how's the quality of the clothes? Any help would really be appreciated! Thanks! 
I have mixed feelings about ordering from them. On their site I should be a medium, but when I ordered some tops they were all way too big and I had to exchange them for smalls. However, I also ordered a swimsuit from them in a medium and it fit perfectly. The good thing is you can return and exchange free of charge. I would say go for the XS unless its a top thats extremely fitted or cropped.
The clothes in general are usually pretty cute and of decent quality, there was only one time I was like eh about an outfit I ordered. Everything else I have liked and received compliments on. Good luck!
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